Our Story

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Hi all! My name is Kayla Mercer and my husband Andrew and I have been trying to grow our family for about a year now. It turns out that our journey to parenthood has not gone as planned. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS – for those of you that either have this or have heard of it, I can hear your sighs from here. No one infertility story is more important than another and I believe that we can all learn from each other – though we may be in different carts, we are all on the same roller coaster. Each time a person is added to the ride it is an unfortunate reality that seems to go on forever. Just know that you are not alone. Over the past two years I have learned what infertility looks like and the obstacles that couples encounter in order to have a baby. I have seen the mechanics behind the ride, have endured the lows and celebrated at the peaks as I dove head first into a career of infertility nursing. Now, I am starting my own journey and joining the community as a patient.

In order for you to understand how we have gotten to this point, I will take you back to the beginning …

We Met:

About 10 years ago, I was a sophomore in high school and Andrew was a junior. I had been friends with Andrew’s younger brother, Jacob, since high school began. Jacob and I would hang out, so naturally I learned that he had an older brother. I was intrigued so as my 16th birthday approached, I went ahead and invited Jacob to my party and requested that he bring along his brother. Jacob and Andrew showed up and were the last ones to leave. I knew right then that I wanted to date Andrew – he was wearing a burnt orange Texas shirt and matching hat and I just thought that he was the cutest boy I’d ever seen. Low and behold, about a month after my birthday, Andrew asked me to be his girlfriend.

We Dated:

Andrew and I dated throughout the remainder of my high school career. He of course graduated one year ahead of me and headed off to college at Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA. I thought that it was the end of the world even though we decided that we would try the whole long-distance dating thing. Throughout his first year of college things were tough but we made it work. Each holiday break I would spend as much time with him as I could and we would talk on the phone constantly. Eventually I graduated high school and started my freshman year of college. I thought that I would take advantage of in state tuition and stay close to home so I started at UNR in Reno. Coming from a very small high school and going to a college of thousands of students, I was very overwhelmed. Of course not having Andrew there to lean on, made it even harder.

Half way through my first semester, I knew that 1.) I did not want to go to UNR and 2.) I wanted to be closer to Andrew. Growing up I had become a pretty decent softball player so I decided to use my skills to work my way into a college up in Spokane. I truly did miss playing softball, but my family saw right through me and knew that I was chasing a boy. That did not matter to me though because I knew that I wanted to be with him and was going to do what I needed to do. I played softball and began majoring in nursing and Andrew continued his studies at Gonzaga and we would travel home for holidays and summer breaks together. On one of those summer trips back to Reno, Andrew decided that it was time to ask me to marry him. Of course I said yes and though we were young, we were so excited and ready for this next step. So we planned the wedding and had a nice long, 2 year engagement.

We Married:

On June 17, 2017, Andrew and I got married! We said our vows and partied with our friends and family in my grandparents beautiful backyard. It was the wedding of my dreams and I could not have been happier to finally marry my best friend. As most weddings do, it came and went too quickly but the celebrations were not over. We were off to Portugal and Spain for our 3 week honeymoon. I know what you are thinking, oh the honeymoon, it must be time for babies. It only seems like the next logical step. Well not yet, I was still finishing nursing school and we wanted to enjoy being married for a while. Additionally, my mom had me at a very young age, her mom had her at a young age and so on, so I was groomed to be very careful and make sure that the time was right.

We lived:

We returned from our honeymoon and life went back to normal – minus all of the wedding planning and stress. I graduated nursing school and Andrew was ready to begin his masters degree. We were faced with a choice of either moving to Pittsburgh, PA or the San Francisco Bay Area for his program. Since Reno is just a short 4 hour drive through the mountains, we decided that we should be close to family so we moved to the Easy Bay Area in 2018.

When we first moved, I was having a really hard time finding a nursing job. The hospitals expected you to have work experience and those that did hire new graduates, hired the local students who had done their rotations there. I searched and searched ad then I came across my dream job – IVF/fertility nurse. Most people that know me, know that I have always had a strong passion for infertility patients. The reason being is that my mom works for a company that does long-term cryostorage for all of the embryos and specimens created in a fertility clinic, so I was immersed in the field and introduced to the terminology at a young age.

I was so fortunate to be given the opportunity to work at one of the best fertility clinics in the country. From day 1, I knew that I had found my home and I was so excited to learn the ins and outs of this amazing technology so that is exactly what I did. I worked and Andrew went to school and after a year of helping others become parents, we decided that we were ready ourselves.

We tried:

To get started and out of pure curiosity, I had my hormone levels checked. This included an AMH (anti-mullarian hormone), FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and estradiol level. Being that I was 24 years old and pretty healthy, the testing came back normal. From there, I stopped my birth control and Andrew and I did genetic carrier screening to be sure that we were not both carriers for any of the same diseases. All signs pointed to go, so we started trying. We knew that things would not happen immediately but we were definitely hoping that it would not take more than a few months. We were so confident that we were nice and fertile, that we decided to go to Paris for Christmas last year. We thought, well this will be our last Christmas just the two of us so we should spend it together. Much to our families chagrin, we did just that. We enjoyed the holidays, I kept track of my fertile window on an app and we tried as often as we could.

Nothing was happening…I was already getting frustrated and it had only been a few months. I wasn’t sure if the fact that I went to work everyday and saw how infertility affected peoples lives was making me more impatient or not, but man, I knew that I did not want to have to go through what my patients go through everyday. I remember coming home one day and breaking down to Andrew. I sobbed about how I just wanted to be a mom and that I was scared of having to pursue treatment. In total Andrew fashion, he hugged me and told me that everything was going to be fine. I chose to follow his words in that moment, but my faith was slowly disappearing.

I was slated to start my period just a few days after my meltdown so I decided that I would take a pregnancy test a little early. The anticipation was killing me, but unfortunately the result came out negative. A few days later, I had yet to start my period so I decided to test again – maybe the first one had been too soon. Again, negative. I told myself that I would not stress out about it because our best friends were flying down from Washington for a visit and I wanted to enjoy all of our time together. On the third day of their visit, I woke up early after having an odd dream that I was pregnant. I could not shake the feeling that I should take one last test since I still hadn’t started my period. I could not believe it when I saw a faint line on the test that morning. I was shocked so I showed Andrew – we could not tell if it was actually positive so we decided to just go about our day. That evening I decided to show the test to my friend, also a nurse, and get her opinion. She couldn’t tell either so the 4 of us went to CVS and picked up some more pregnancy tests. When I took them that night, every single one was positive. We were so excited, it had finally happened and I could stop stressing!!

Working in the field, I had a slight advantage so I texted my boss and asked if I could do some blood work to confirm. I went in the following day and got a call later with the bHCG result – it was positive! The number was 79 to be exact. I knew that this was a good first number and I also knew that the next step was to repeat the bHCG in 2 days. This is done to be sure that the pregnancy is growing normally. Two days later I had my second blood draw. It just so happens that day was the start of the lockdown here in California for COVID-19. We were forced to shelter in place so I started working from home. After settling in to my new normal at home, I got a call that afternoon with my results. My bHCG only went up to 95 – instantly I knew that this was not a good pregnancy. This is what is called a biochemical pregnancy which is defined as a very early term miscarriage. We were heartbroken. This was the first time in along time, that I had seen Andrew cry the way he did. We just could not believe it. We tracked my bHCG’s all the way back down to 0 over the next few weeks and I was instructed to wait one full cycle before we started trying again.

Sometimes I feel that being an IVF nurse, I know too much about this process to be on the patient side. I instantly jump to worst case scenarios and overthink everything that is happening with my body. All of this was happening and then on top of it, we were going through a global pandemic. I was lost and not sure where to go from there. After waiting the recommended month, we began trying again. I was optimistic because I had gotten pregnant before so we could do it again, right? So we tried. And tried. And tried.

I had a sinking feeling that this was not going to work so I scheduled an appointment with one of the doctors at our clinic. We did some additional testing as well as an ultrasound and he diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). This is a very common hormonal disorder that causes infertility. Unfortunately, I knew that this meant I was probably going to have to go through some sort of treatment. We ultimately decided that I would start by taking Clomiphene Citrate (clomid) and do a timed intercourse cycle, which leads us to now.

I am currently undergoing infertility treatment and will go into details in another post. My goal of this blog is to find peace in my journey by acknowledging my emotions and learning to be patient. I plan to close my eyes, put my hands in the air and take the course as it comes. I know that there will be some unexpected curves but I am not alone and maybe this can help the couples that are just strapping in!